Seeing Lenny Kravitz's Actual, NSFW Penis Makes Me Feel Like I've Been Lied to My Whole Life

Lenny Kravitz was King Bae in my eyes. I mean, dude is 51, and looks like this:

Sings you to sex like this:

Stares through his sunglasses, into your soul like this:

Rocks sparkly guyliner like:

And effortlessly glides his abs across the room like this:

Then, Lenny's mysterious allure ripped apart as fast as his ball-hugging leather pants during a Stockholm concert last night. And it happened.

Granted, the pic is far away, but maybe I expected such massive sex appeal to be backed by equally massive girth. Maybe the way he handled a guitar made me think he handled other machinery so large on the reg. But after seeing this pic, it's like Santa Clause, the Easter Bunny, the tooth fairy, and Speidi gave away their secrets and crushed all my hopes and dreams at once.

Goodbye cruel world.