No One Actually Showed Up to Film Madonna's "Bitch I'm Madonna" Video

Madonna premiered the highly-anticipated video for her new single "Bitch I'm Madonna" today on Tidal (of course). Cringe-worthy Instagram posts had us thinking this video was going to be star-studded, with Nicki Minaj, Katy Perry, Rita Ora, Miley Cyrus, and Beyonce expected to appear. However, did anyone notice that nobody actually showed up to the shoot? Well, Rita was there. Plus Chris Rock, Diplo, and Alexander Wang randomly.

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But none of the other strong females that fans were excited to see filmed on set with Madge. Even Nicki, who is literally featured on the song, wasn't there. They all phoned in their two-second cameos from (we're guessing) various dressing rooms and bathrooms miles away. It's pretty hilarious. Madge's clip is called, "Bitch I'm Madonna," but why couldn't she get these youths to show the eff up?

Here are all the cameos (if you can call them that) celebrities make in M's new video.

Beyonce: I'm only here because my husband invented Tidal.

Chris Rock and Rita Ora: Yeah, our schedules are free!

Alexander Wang: We met at the Met Ball, and now I'm here.

Diplo: THIS SONG IS SO GREAT, M. YOU'RE GONNA GET THAT NO.1! TRUST ME.

Katy Perry: What's this song called, again?

Kanye West: *Cameo too brief to take a proper screen shot.*

Nicki Minaj : "I stole this television so we can see Nicki's rap."

These random children: Say the word "bitch" on three, girls! (WTF are they doing here, really?)

Miley Cyrus: Sure, you can use my "We Can't Stop" concept.